Birthday, New Job and That Virus Everybody Keeps Talking About

Am I doing this social distancing thing right?

Can 2020 stop kicking us in the privates, please? This is a weird one because March 2020 would have been a pretty good month for me if it weren't for the elephant in the room that is COVID19. I had my 22nd birthday. It was a nice and quiet affair, to the point where I had a job interview that day (more on that later) but I'm 22, the time for big birthdays is over until I'm 30. I don't mind since I got to go out for a Chinese all-you-can-eat with my family and friends. The interview did put a damper on things until that very day, I was asked to go to a trial shift. After months of job-searching, I finally have something! I wanted a job more than anything so if you ask me, that's a great birthday present! The job itself is a kitchen porter at a lovely garden centre recommended by a friend of mine (who also works there). It's exhausting but it runs like a tight ship and everyone is both efficient and lovely so that's nice.

What isn't nice is this whole COVID19 business. I'm not going to lie, at first I didn't take it seriously. We've had worse illnesses than this and the mortality rate is low. However, as time went on, I began to understand the severity of the situation. It spreads fast, there's no cure or vaccine as of yet and both my parents are high-risk. Then the restrictions began. Most upcoming movies and TV shows have been delayed and the Comic-Con I was supposed to go to was postponed as were the shows I was going to be in (which is a shame since I recently got cast as the Pharoah in my drama club's production of Joseph and His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat). More recently, pubs, restaurants and cafes have shut down. Luckily I'm not out of a job but it's all very uncertain. I know all sporting events have been cancelled as well but I don't care about them.

Now I can easily make the best of this. I stay in my room a lot, I have a lot of entertainment platforms such as books, DVDs and Netflix and I have enough social media to stay in contact with everyone. Plus, because of my freakishly strong immune system, COVID19 may not affect me as badly. My mum is also an expert in isolation due to her 101 conditions so she knows how to keep us entertained. For example, for her birthday, she decided to have a Christmas themed dinner complete with turkey rolls, Christmas songs and charades.

But I still worry. The Karens have stripped supermarkets clean of products so we're struggling to get food and I'm worried that when lockdown inevitably happens to us, we'll probably end up like The Shining but we'll make the best of it until this all blows over. This hasn't been helpful for my anxiety since I have no idea what I'm allowed to do now but I'll keep going.

Just hang in there everyone. This has been a terrible year for all of us and we're only 1/4 of a way through but we can do this. I'll let you know how I do when things get worse. Until then, fare thee well good people of the internet.

Meme of the Day:

Dealing with Pantos and Anxiety

Yay! I got to be a baddie!!!

So this was a bizarre couple of weeks. My stepdad is finally home and even though he has a Lego hand, he's on the road to recovery which is some good news. We're not quite out of the woods yet because Lego hand but it's an improvement!

Now onto the main event: over the past two weeks, I got to perform in MMAD's production of Camelot - The Panto. For the first time in 2020, I was really happy. Not only did I have tons of fun doing this but I was also having fun with MMAD themselves when they went out partying. I am so glad to have done this. Not only did I reconnect with my old friends but I made new friends with the newer members. I can't wait to do Joseph and His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat with them! But first I must do Shrek and my first rehearsal in a while is tonight. 

Unfortunately during that time, I was ill for three days with a bug and I ended up with panic attacks. This led me to realise that I do indeed have anxiety. For those who don't know, anxiety is a crippling sensation where certain events causes someone to panic, stress out and shut down. For me, I was worried about my job searching, my past mistakes in the dating scene (which I have since made peace with) and struggling to get to know new people in the drama group producing Shrek. It got so bad that I lost sleep over it. But I soon realised it was deeper than that and I recognised that all of my latest worries in my work, social and even love life boiled down to one sentiment: I didn't think I was good enough for anyone else.

Because I recognised this, I informed my parents as soon as possible. It turns out I did the right thing in both recognising what was wrong with me and telling people about it and the fact that I'm trying to grow as a person is indicative of the possibility that maybe I am good enough. But it wasn't until mum reminded me of my own backstory that I realised how much I really accomplished. 

Because I was diagnosed really young with both autism and hypotonia (weak muscle tone), doctors thought I would be unable to walk and talk and I would be forever trapped in my own head. Since then, I managed to walk and talk and I ended up being pretty good at both, I got so far in my education I graduated from uni, I made a ton of friends, I'm still job searching and like I said, I even performed a principal role in a pantomime. Obviously, I didn't achieve all of this on my own since my family and friends helped a ton in teaching me morality, empathy, banter and other social skills but  I'm still a miracle. So as long as I tell myself that, I should be able to beat this thing. And for those of you out there who are struggling to raise an autistic child, keep going because there's always a chance they'll turn out brilliant. 

Anyway, I better stop bragging. I doubt my days of stress and anxiety are over but I'll keep going nonetheless since tomorrow is another day. In other news, I am continually enjoying Doctor Who and am currently waiting impatiently for the season finale, my film reviews are still lagging behind but I'm seeing Birds of Prey with a new friend this Saturday so that should be nice, I actually endured Valentine's Day without much annoyance this year (turns out I didn't need a girlfriend, I needed cookies, Scott Pilgrim, Jacksfilms, Panto and Valentines TV specials) and I have a dentist appointment tomorrow which should be fun...

I'll keep you updated with how I'll cope with everything but until then, fare thee well good people of the internet!

Meme of the Day: 

My (Stressful) Time as Man of the House

You and me both buddy...

Woah boy... I didn't realise the gap between blog posts was this big. I do apologise but in my defence, I've been very busy. For starters, this Friday is my first night of panto and I have to say, it's going well and I finally know all my lines/cues! Huzzah! And because it's on Friday, I'm actually doing something on Valentine's Day this year. For those who don't know me, I'm not a fan of the holiday... mostly because I've never had a date for Valentine's Day but I seem to be in the majority as even couples I know think its pointless. I swear it's only appealing to married couples. My birthday and Easter Sunday can't get here soon enough...

As for Shrek, I've had a read through but since I only had three lines, it was slow for me. Hopefully, the true potential of Thelonius will be revealed in rehearsals. And as for my cinema trips, I actually didn't see anything last week because there's nothing on. Fortunately, Birds of Prey is out this week so I'm giving that a go.

But honestly, that's not the only reason I've been busy which leads me to the main point of the article. A few weeks back, my stepdad was scratched by one of our dogs. It got infected and now he has sepsis. He only just got out of the hospital but he's not out of the woods since he needs a skin graft. During his time in the hospital, I basically took on the role of man of the house, keeping the house in order, looking after the dogs and cooking most nights. I like to believe I did a good job but I'm not going to lie, it took a toll on my mental health.

Not only was I worried about my stepdad but I had so much to do because I was looking after the house on top of job hunting (which is still going badly despite a possible lead at a local cinema), chasing up on universal credit, panto and Shrek rehearsals and volunteering at the charity shop. After a while, I just couldn't stand the confusion in my mind. Towards the end, I've been trying to keep myself sane through our Lord God but I haven't been too mindful until today, where my stepdad finally came home.

I would like to thank everyone who helped my family during this time by sending us food and emotional support. I'm sure my mum and sister is more than grateful as well.

As for where I'm going next, I'm focusing on panto since it's very close to happening and I'm certain that nerves will set in but I'm also certain that I will have fun! I've also got Shrek to look forward to though I need to start making friends in that group since I'm too much of a wallflower to properly get on that.

Because of panto, it may take a while for me to post another one of these so please bear with me. Until then, fare thee well good people of the internet!

Meme of the Day: 

Thelonious, Churches and Technical Stuff

So erm... yeah sorry for the inactivity but I have been so busy as of late that I cannot stand the confusion in my mind! So what have I been up to? Well, not YouTube for starters. I still have no idea what I want to do. I tried writing a more humourous version of my 1917 review but it felt forced and unnatural. Maybe I should play it straight.

So what did I do instead? A lot of theatre stuff strangely enough. The most notable thing I did was lighting and sound for a local production of Harold Pinter's The Caretaker... well for a while anyway, I'll get to why later but for now, what I did do I managed to do well. Yes, The Caretaker isn't the most complex play to do lighting and sound for but I managed to pick up on it very easily and remained focused which is a huge victory for me as I usually have the attention span of a mayfly.

In terms of Shrek updates, I got in! I ended up with the part of Thelonius aka Lord Farquaad's masked henchman who is apparently the funniest role in the show. I'm happy about this since I never want the biggest role in theatre, just the funniest. Panto's still going well. We managed to do our first dress rehearsal and I was happy to see that I had a cape (even if it kept snagging in the doorways)! It's not long before I start now and I'll definitely be in for a busy February. I'm glad to see that I have something to do on Valentine's Day this year!

I also finally managed to join a church in my home town! It's called Queensway Chapel and whilst it isn't as lively as Chroma in Leicester, it's certainly a good one with a strong holy atmosphere. This combined with Shrek, panto and my technical work means that I'm finally able to have an active social life, at least when it comes to hobbies.

However, things are a bit tricky for me right now. My stepdad was scratched by the dogs and it got really badly infected and he's still hospitalised to this day. I basically had to step up as both man of the house and dogsitter which I'm happy to do but it just keeps me busy. It's because of this that I was left unable to do the technical stuff for The Caretaker this week (aka their show week) because he was also helping and was my lift there and back. Fortunately, they knew about this and was okay with it and I was still able to attend my first Shrek rehearsal thanks to a friend of ours.

Film reviews are still going strong as my review of Jojo Rabbit is now online. I personally found it to be an uplifting reminder that fascism will ultimately fail so long as there is love in the world, even if I didn't find it that funny. Job hunting is pretty much the same except that I have an interview at a local cinema tonight. I will let you know how it goes on the next blog.

So yeah, stressful and busy times but I'm glad it's busy. 2020 may not be a good year in general so far but it seems to be a good year for me at least. Now if only I figured out a way to calm down!

Anyway, I'll try and push the next one out earlier but until then, fare thee well good people of the internet.

Meme of the Day:

Helping Out, 1917 and Re-evaluating my Life

I want to go home and rethink my life

So this week for me hasn't been as busy as last week (hence the lack of content) but emotionally, this has been a funny one. Basically, I'm a recent graduate and like all recent graduates, my life has never been more certain. I'm still unable to get a stable job and even the job I'm currently in hasn't called me in for weeks. My job coach, bless her, has been ever so helpful but it hasn't been easy. My social life has taken a bit of a nosedive. Besides my drama club, I haven't really had much luck with my social life and my love life is even worse (more on that later). I also had no idea what to do with my life. I knew I wanted to work in film or television and in writing but the only things I genuinely enjoyed writing were my reviews and these.

It was on Thursday when one of my best friends said they were performing stand-up yet again when I realised that I hated where I was and that I needed to get something done. So I finally decided to buckle up and do something. That night, I downloaded Windows Movie Maker (the editing software) and ordered a cheap recording microphone off Amazon. Basically, I've decided to see if I can start a YouTube channel. Quite what I want it to be about is anyone's guess at the moment but I am giving it a think. I know I want it to be comedic and I know I want it to be Doctor Who related.

After that epiphany, I went to see 1917, in keeping with my vow to watch a new movie every week. My full review is here but suffice it say, it was very harrowing and intense and whilst I thought it was very good, I never want to see it again. On the same day, I set up a Doctor Who review page called Hermit's United, on which I reviewed the series 12 premiere 'Spyfall' which is a long time coming. It was difficult navigating through a new format but I managed to complete it.

I've also been helping out with backstage work with two different theatre groups. Not only did I attempt to help out with scene-building at my drama club (of which I ended up doing very little because I'm not the best at DIY) but I'm also helping out at my mum's theatre group with my stepdad in terms of set painting and lighting. It was exciting to learn about the latter, even if our supervisor did overexplain it.

But perhaps the biggest re-evaluation was with my love life. I got OKCupid which, in theory, was a really good dating app. It gives you matches based on compatability as well as age and distance and I think Tinder could stand to learn from them in that department. It was also free which was handy. The trouble is, nobody was on it and once again, I felt icky. This happened a lot whenever I got a dating app as I felt like it was hurting my self-esteem since nobody matched with me. But it was when I was watching Sex Education season 2 when it finally hit me: not only am I awful at the dating scene but it was causing some serious emotional harm to me.

The reason this was is because when I watched how open the show was about sex, I was actually kind of disgusted. It was then I realised that I am very prudish. I do feel sexual desire and I was often frustrated about it but I hated feeling it and whenever I met someone new that I liked, I never felt happy and I sometimes felt embarrassed, especially when it transpires that they're already taken. After a while, I felt like a creep and for what? To experience something I'm way too shy and innocent to enjoy? And the worst part is, I highly doubt I was the only person I hurt. I've had women ghost or worse block me without explanation and I'm worried that my attitude or behaviour put them off. To those women, I am so sorry. I really am. It's hard to convey it through text but I never meant to hurt you.

The only women I met and I was actually happy with are either taken, kindly rejected me or both. Don't get me wrong, they're fair reasons and I'm still close friends with them (happily I might add) but it made me realise that I never found the right person and it was unlikely I wouldn't meet them for a while. But also, I'm not ready for one. I'm unemployed, I still live with my family, my social life is scarce, I don't know what to do with my life, I have poor social skills and I have low self-esteem, ironically because of this. I do hope I am a good man and I at least try to be but this is not healthy and it needs to stop.

I suppose what I'm getting at is that effective immediately, I am staying single indefinitely. Chasing a relationship is not healthy for me and if Sex Education is anything to go by, I'm not missing much. I'm sure this will change when I meet someone I truly love and who loves me back and luckily, I'm emotionally mature enough to tell the difference between love and lust but it's time to improve my self-image, my confidence and my etiquette around women (which I'm sure is better than some groups of men but still needs improvement).

So I'm aware that it got way too real but it's for the best. I genuinely want to be happy with my life again and I know there are plenty of other ways of achieving it. I'm thinking about trying out a church tomorrow which will get me back on track (don't worry, I never lost my faith, I just need guidance) and on Monday, I'm joining a walking group since walking calms me down. I want to improve my social life as well as my working life and a nice balance between the two can help me greatly. Maybe one day I can convince myself I'm someone worth being with.

Still, next week should be good. I'm auditioning for secondary roles in Shrek: The Musical (after failing to get the role of Donkey) and though I didn't get into the BBC TV thing, I will continue to apply for jobs there at every opportunity possible.

Until the next time, fare thee well good people of the internet.

Meme of the day:

The BBC, Shrek and Cats (03/01/2020-09/01/2020)

This was the only Shrek meme I could find that wasn't awful...

So 2020 has been a crazy year already and I'm only one week in! Besides the worldwide craziness with yet another possible war (which hopefully will not become WWIII... we'll see how China and Russia react) and Australia being on fire, this has been an odd week for me as well. For starters, I finally caved and saw the movie adaptation of Cats on Tuesday. It was a surreal experience for me. Not only was it the first time I went to the cinema by myself (which wasn't nearly as bad as I feared) but the film itself was surreal. It was simultaneously crazier and not as crazy as I thought it would be and I was left utterly bewildered and laughing deliriously through a part of the credits. My full review is here if you want my full thoughts but suffice to say, I both enjoyed and hated this film...

Anyway, on a happier note. I decided to audition for a local production of Shrek: The Musical with my stepdad. At the time of writing this, I have yet to actually audition for it (as it's tonight) but I will let you know how I did.

But perhaps the most exciting thing that happened this week was that I got to go to an interview for BBC Three's mysterious new show (even I don't know much about it). The interview itself was very intense and harrowing as it involved discussing a very very difficult topic that involves murder. I left very shaken by the experience but I hope I did well. As it was in Bristol, I explored it for a bit but I had to travel far and for a long time. It was a long day. Like with Shrek, I don't know the outcome with this and I will let you know in a future blog.

As for my weekly routines, Doctor Who was fun on Sunday but not as good as part 1, Panto rehearsals are going well (even if I need to learn all of my lines), I haven't been called into my place of work for weeks which is worrying but my meetings with my job coach are going smoothly and besides meeting with my best friend and going to rehearsals, I haven't been too social which is worrying.

So yeah, bonkers week! I hope things calm down by next week and the rest of this year is actually a good one. Until the next time, fare thee well good people of the internet!


Meme of the Day:

How I Ended My 2019 (and started my 2020)

(POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOR LITTLE WOMEN INBOUND)

I'm Blue da-ba-de-da-ba-dai!

So as mentioned before, 2019 has been a crazy year for me but fortunately, it stuck the landing. My December has been a pretty great one overall with a solid Christmas. So what did I do to combat the post-Christmas blues? Quite a lot!

Firstly, I went to my Dad's via my older sister's. Some context: my dad has remarried and remained so for nearly 13 years and since then, he and my stepmother had three kids on top of my stepmother's daughter whom he adopted. So as you can imagine, that family plus myself plus my older sister and her boyfriend equal a busy house. My brothers are very energetic and for Christmas, they got indoor snowballs so as you can imagine, it was complete pandemonium! From my dad for Christmas, I got a new Nintendo DS (after my previous one wore out and became unplayable) and lucky for me, I still had a fair few lego games on me!

After returning home to my mum and stepdad (aren't reconstituted families wonderful?), his two children came round and still are at the time of writing. I managed to get Instagram (joelmole42 for those who wish to follow me) but already ran into trouble with it after I followed to many people at once. It now thinks I'm a robot and until such time as I can prove otherwise, I will limit my activities.

For New Year's Eve, we, alongside my Aunt-of-Honour and her daughter, went to see the latest adaptation of Little Women. My full thoughts on the film can be seen here but suffice to say, I loved it! It was progressive in all the best ways and everything felt so natural and real! But I can also say that it changed my outlook for the better. There is a character in it called Laurie who is in love with the protagonist Jo March. However, as she's a strong independent woman, she declines him. Though he was upset for a while, he eventually moved on and ended up marrying Jo's sister Amy (who in this version, has her relationship with Laurie fully developed to the point where it doesn't feel like a rebound).

This stood out to me because, to my shame, I have an unfortunate habit of falling in love with the wrong people whether it's because they've already found someone else, they said no or both. Don't worry, I've had enough sense to keep it to myself (unless they were single but even then I was too cowardly to say anything for the most part) and Laurie's attitude to rejection has finally made me see sense and since then, I've decided to wipe my list clean so to speak and unless I have very good reason to do otherwise, I've decided to only pursue romance with people I will meet and get on with in the future. It's not quite my new year's resolution but more of a life one. There's no point in getting hung up on women I have no chance with. It's definitely the mark of a good film if it changes my life for the better.

After Little Women, we played games (both of which I curiously came second in) and the new year began. On New Year's Day, I went to rehearsals and did something not unheard of but weird for me in the process: I missed Doctor Who. I managed to watch it as soon as I came back and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was a marked improvement over the previous lacklustre season and the twist ending got me excited after a Doctor Who episode for the first time in a long time. It may not be the best opening but it's a promising one! I hope part 2 lives up the hype on Sunday!

After that, I finally decided to take down my Christmas decorations (the ones in my room anyway). I know I'm still within the 12 Days of Christmas but with New Year's Day over and done with, I'm finally free of the Christmas spirit. I also changed my multicoloured lights to a light blue as that's the colour I associate with January.

And that's it! Here's to a great (or anything other than catastrophic) 2020!

Meme of the Day:

2019: A Funny Old Year

So 2019 is very nearly over and I don't know what to make of it. I'd say 2018 was worse because it felt long whereas 2019 was pretty short but 2019 hasn't exactly been a picnic for me either.

It started off great when I won a competition from the Five Who Fans to devise an outline for a Classic Doctor Who Parody and to be fair, the first half was alright. I managed to finish my final year of uni mostly unscathed. It was stressful, yes but I remember it fondly, especially with new friends I made on the way. Easter was lovely too, as always. 

It was only when it was summer when things started to go pear-shaped. After graduating from uni, my plan was to find a job to raise money for a master's degree in scriptwriting. However, things took a sharp turn for the stressful when I was made to realise that such plans are impossible without taking a gap year. So I did exactly that and tears were shed. As you may know, I don't deal with change very well and it was a lot to take in. But once I had a think, I accepted it and to be fair, it came with pros. I was finally able to rejoin my old drama group in my hometown and now I'm rehearsing for a show with them. Then again, I am reconsidering my original plan to do my master's in Bournemouth after an attempt to get a refund that took longer than it should have.

As for my job hunting, it was and still is mostly unsuccessful but I managed to get a part-time job as a kitchen porter in a local pub (which is getting increasingly sparse) and after two years of attempting, I managed to volunteer at a charity shop. I also started writing up the memoirs of a family friend which I have yet to finish. If I had any New Year's resolution, it would definitely be to find a stable source of income and I'm working on that now. Luckily, I've been writing film reviews and my blogs more frequently to build up a portfolio which is always good and I cannot thank you guys enough for the feedback this year.

My annual traditions remained unscathed such as my annual holiday to Way-Hey-Mouth and my holiday timetable which is a relief and I managed to add some more traditions such as watching summer/beach episodes of my favourite shows in the week leading up to the holiday. And my social life has been mostly stable (save for the summer) with uni friends in the first half and my drama group in the second half which is always handy. Sadly, my mental health has been fluctuating from stress and loneliness to peace which is worrying. It doesn't help that after leaving Chroma Church upon leaving Leicester, I have struggled to find a replacement, especially after I started working on Sundays. And my love life has once again been non-existent but at least I finally realised that Tinder is not good for me and I've taken a more social approach to things. 

As for my thoughts on what the rest of the world is up to, I never thought I'd be more ashamed of my country than I was for Brexit but boy have I been proven wrong as the General Election earlier this month completely derailed it. It was the most I've been engaged in politics and as of now, I'm going back to being apolitical because the whole system is broken!

I was, however, pleased to see that my best friends are doing well with two of them getting engaged this year. I am glad that, despite my 2019 being half rubbish, at least my friends had a good year.

So, looking forward, I have no idea what's in store for me in 2020. I doubt it will be easy as my grandma's cancer has returned, I have no clear plan for the future and my country's falling to pieces but who knows? I thought 2019 would be my year and it wasn't so I don't know if 2020 will be the same. I do have resolutions that I intend to keep. Here they are:

1. Get a stable job
2. Progress my career as a film critic
3. Improve my social life, ideally by hanging out with people my own age for a change
4. Find someone who makes me happy (and is single) and gain the confidence I need to ask her out

Anyway, have a happy new year everyone! May your 2020 be prosperous and not the least bit stressful. Until the next time, fare thee well good people of the internet!

Meme of the Day:

CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS! (21/12/2019-27/12/2019)

No, I'm not covering up my large forehead... what are you on about?!

Okay... sorry for the lack of blogs lately! I've been so busy with Christmas lately that I only just now had the time to write one.

And boy has it been busy?! I might do a breakdown of all the stuff I've done over the holiday season! 

Christmas Build-Up/Star Wars (21-23rd December)

Most of it has been focussed on Star Wars. After finally booking the tickets for Monday 23rd December, I watched The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi over the weekend in preparation. They both held up though weirdly, The Force Awakens got worse yet The Last Jedi got better with the rewatch.

Onto the main event, I was excited but cautiously so for The Rise of Skywalker and I managed to watch it in an indie theatre. I went with my stepdad, as was tradition, and he definitely enjoyed it more than I did. My full review is here but suffices to say, the terribly rushed pacing killed it for me despite at least being somewhat entertained. I was cross at it for a while but then I was reminded that Star Wars is like sex and pizza, no matter how bad it is, it's fundamentally enjoyable. 

Christmas Eve (24th December)

We do Christmas Eve differently in our family. As it's on the same date as my stepdad's birthday, we celebrate that instead so he doesn't feel overshadowed. As such it was a good birthday and I managed to help out in any way I can. We had a buffet and my extended family (including my grandparents, one of my uncles and my aunt-of-honour who is no way related or married to any of our family but as my mum's best friend, she is basically that) came round. It was an overall nice time but I need to remind myself never to discuss trans rights again as that always creates a toxic environment, no matter who it's with and if they agree with you. It's a sad state but it's what it is. 

Fortunately, I was able to do some Christmas stuff including watching my two favourite Christmas Specials: Doctor Who: 'A Christmas Carol' and The Muppet Christmas Carol. Both give me the Christmas feels and prepare me for Christmas despite taking vastly different approaches to the story. I was also pleased to see that I finished The Muppet Christmas Carol on midnight, right when it was Christmas Day! Speaking of which...

Christmas Day (25th December)

Christmas Day ran very smoothly but there are many of you who don't know my annual traditions. We start off with seeing what 'Santa' gave us. Despite the fact that all of us know that Santa wasn't real, we still do it because it's fun and it's nice to believe in him regardless. I got a LOT of food myself plus some things to help me out with my stress including stress balls (with faces!) and a book on mindfulness that encourages me to be like Yoda. I also got a VHS copy of the original Cats stage musical... as well as a 4K/Blu-Ray copy of Alita: Battle Angel from my uncle... people know that I have neither of those right? 

Soon after that, my sister went to church so we waited for her so we can do presents. I know I should have gone myself as a Christian but none of the churches in my home town are any good. Note to self: find a good church. When she got back, we did presents. I got exactly what I needed with updates to my favourite superhero franchises, a copy of Doctor Who: 'The Tenth Planet' and a Star Wars long-sleeved top that not only has my favourite Star Wars movie on it, The Empire Strikes Back but is now my new official winter pyjama top! Everyone was also pleased with what I got them which is good! 

Soon, we went to my grandparents for Christmas Dinner (where the conversation was much nicer and less... political... and my older sister dropped some cauliflower cheesy in my drink. She's basically like Miranda Hart) and we did, even more, presents afterwards. I got new shoes (which feel like I'm walking on cushions), Doctor Who collectables and DVDs. A good haul this year. 

We later played some games such as charades and 'Neighbours'. Charades is a game that I'm sort of good at. I always pick difficult films (etc.) and perform them in odd ways that means they take forever to guess what I'm trying to do. Still, that's part of the fun! 

Finally, we went home and in lieu of a Doctor Who Christmas special (since Chris Chibnall is refusing to write any), we instead get one for Gavin & Stacey. I personally love the show for its charming characters, positive tone and relatable stories and this is no different. Despite being off-air for 11 years, it's like they never left and the writing is a strong as ever (though that cliffhanger certainly left me wanting more... and singing 'Fairytale of New York' uncensored wasn't a wise move considering that f****t is the LGBT equivalent of the N-word but I'll let it slide as it didn't feel malicious). 

Boxing Day and Beyond (26/12/2019-27/12/2019)

Boxing Day was a very lollopy day since we're all tired from Christmas. I broke into my new shoes and they worked a treat and I managed to watch X-Men: Dark Phoenix, an okay if crushingly underwhelming film. 

The biggest news that day was not very nice at all. It turns out some smeghead stole my older sister's Christmas presents from her car. We're doing what we can to a) replace it, b) find the items and c) make her feel better. I feel like my job is the latter since I feel that's all I really can do at the moment.

Which brings me to today. I had to get presents for my brothers and my older sister and I split for my Dad's side of the family for financial reasons (though this is the last time we're doing it as we're both adults). I managed to get t-shirts for the three of them and finally finish my Star Wars reviews by reviewing The Rise of Skywalker today. 

And that's really it. It's been a hectic week with many ups and downs so it's time to face the rest of 2019. With that in mind, the next blog will be a year-end retrospective. A rewind if you will! Until then, fare thee well good people of the internet!

Meme of the Day:

Star Wars Reviews, Road Trips and Battles with the Odeon Website (20/12/2019)

Staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar Waaaaaaaaaaaaars! Nothing but Staaaaaaaaaaaaar Waaaaaaaaaaars!

Today has been pretty quiet but also productive. From the 1st December onwards, I have been reviewing a lot of things Star Wars in preparation for The Rise of Skywalker (which I am seeing on Monday but more on that). For the first 12 days, I looked at fan films and for the rest of the Christmas period, I have been reviewing every Star Wars movie on my Perfectly Honest Film Review page but because I suddenly have an active social life, I have been lagging behind. Well today, I had time on my hands so I was finally able to review the original trilogy of films (as I have been reviewing these in chronological order). They are all online now and ready to view. Don't worry, they're all positive!

Anyway, after that, I went on my usual walk. I tend to walk around my home town for fresh air and excercise and I have to say, it's much nicer in any other time of year than winter! I'd say spring all through summer is the best time. Why? It takes me around 75 minutes to perform my walk. It's that long. Anyway, during my walk, I was sent to deliver Christmas cards to family and neighbours, including my grandparents where it was finally confirmed that we would be spending Christmas there (it was up in the air before for personal reasons). It was certainly good news.

Afterwards, I went with my stepdad to pick up his kids. Along the way, we basically discussed Star Wars and films I have yet to see (including the Spaghetti Westerns, the Matrix sequels and the Die Hard sequels). Soon we had McDonald's after picking them up (which I'm not a fan of due to the small portions but I tolerate it because it's not awful) and we journeyed home. I also learned that I possibly talk in my sleep though I suspect they were teasing me.

Afterwards, my stepdad and I tried booking tickets for The Rise of Skywalker on the Odeon website (as I had a Limitless). However, the website was impossible to navigate as my Limitless wasn't registered to either of our accounts. After battling the website (which included setting up a new account), I conceded defeat. It was too broken for me to handle. Thankfully, I saw that an independent cinema was showing the film for a much cheaper price so we're going there instead.

Aside from that, I've been watching some Christmas songs by the acapella group Pentatonix (who are incredibly talented but their fashion sense keeps getting worse and worse with each passing year) and spoiler-free reviews of The Rise of Skywalker, all of which made me very nervous for the film's outcome. I do like the other sequels but if this is as messy as they say, I fear that they may not stick the landing

Anyway, that'll be all for now. Please share this around as all of this is to raise awareness for autism and I noticed that yesterday's post didn't do so well. Until then, fare thee well good people of the internet!

Meme of the Day:

Besties, Sweet and Sour Chicken and Avoiding Spoilers (19/12/2019)

I mean who doesn't?

Dear me have I been busy with my social life! Today I met with my best friend who I shall refer to as Sarah Jane Smith for anonymity's sake. And I did chose that name wisely because in Doctor Who, The Doctor and Sarah Jane weren't lovers but they were somehow such great friends, they transcended that. Plus she's happily engaged and I'd be a lunatic to mess that up.

Anywho, after a nice chat in Costas (well a chat with some awkward silences because we both have Autism/Asperger's), we decided to exchange gifts. I already had mine prepared by Sarah Jane left hers at home so we had to go there. It doesn't sound too bad if anything it was nice, but seeing as it's Britain, we had to battle the wind and the rain with our umbrellas. I am shocked I didn't go Mary Poppins that day.

After the presents were exchanged (which I am not planning to open until Christmas Day), I went home and undertook a special project: I was to cook Sweet and Sour Chicken for the first time. Me cooking by myself is nothing new as I survived a whole year at uni self-catered but this was a new challenge. After being told what to do, I took it on single-handedly (with the exception of making my rather disgruntled teenaged sister set the table) and I managed to do it. It was kind of stressful but I felt alive and in control of the kitchen. I was basically Gordon Ramsey without the swearing. The dinner was nice (if I say so myself) and so far, I'm not poisoned which is nice.

As for internet stuff, I have been very careful to avoid spoilers for Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (which I am very nervous about judging by the critical reception) and with the exception of who Rey is, I have been successful (no, I won't say. I'm not a donkey). I was also pleased to see that Donald Trump got impeached by the Senate but I was dismayed to see that, like Emperor Palpatine, he is basically the Senate so he's likely to get back into office. Yay democracy! I was even more dismayed that one of my heroes, J.K. Rowling has revealed herself to be a TERF (trans-exclusionary radical feminist for those of you who don't speak internet) as she sided with a transphobic journalist after the latter got fired for her toxic and false views. Suffice to say, my views on Harry Potter have somewhat soured. I still like the books but I no longer like the author who wrote them.

Speaking of Harry Potter, I neglected to mention that my Secret Santa gift was a Harry Potter pack of Trivial Pursuit cards and I cannot wait to challenge other Potterheads I know. No, I don't know who my Secret Santa is. As for my Star Wars reviews, I'm lagging behind. I managed to publish my review of Rogue One and I started my review of A New Hope but by that point, I was exhausted. I do have a free day tomorrow so I can basically review the Original Trilogy.

That's all for now. Fare thee well good people of the internet!

Meme of the Day:

Charities, Secret Santas and Social Lives (19/12/2019)

For no reason at all, here's me as a woman!

So there really wasn't much to report yesterday outside of cleaning the entire kitchen and applying for a few more jobs so I'll just skip to today.

Today was PACKED! So I'll start with what I do every Wednesday: I volunteer at a Charity Shop. The work environment is good as my co-workers are lovely but Wednesday afternoons are not good times for me to pick because they're usually so quiet. Once in a while, I get things to do like today I was dusting out the front but other than that, nada.

So when I went home, I focused on tonight and boy do I have a lot to explain. I have joined an amateur dramatics group I shall refer to as MMAD and I am currently doing a pantomime with them. It's based on Camelot and I'm playing the secondary villain Valerin the Vicious, King of the Tangled Wood. Anywho, tonight was a special night as we were doing Secret Santa. I got my gift weeks back and I wrapped it today. My worry was my Christmas cards. I tried to do enough but it turned out I didn't so I had to write them last minute. This wouldn't be so bad but I've gotten into the habit of adding weird and comedic touches to my cards so they took a while. It was worth it though, I saw that it managed to make a few people laugh.

Anyway, after a song and dance rehearsal, the Secret Santa began and me being me, I ended up experiencing two embarrassing moments. For starters, I confused a gift with someone else with a similar name as me. It didn't help as she (yes she) was sitting right next to me. As if that wasn't enough, it turns out the gift I was supposed to give didn't end up in the Secret Santa sack so I had to reveal myself. It turns out he figured it out anyway because I'm not great at being interrogated.

Afterwards, myself and a few of my friends from MMAD went out for drinks. This has become a weekly tradition at this point and I couldn't be happier. When I returned home from uni, I struggled with having a social life because I lived in a small town and most of my friends there were grown, adults. Now I actually have something to look forward to every week! I still haven't got a complete social life as I need to join another thing (preferably involving people my own age) but it's better than before!

I was also pleased to hear that this might get noticed as someone from MMAD who works with people with autism offered to share it around to raise awareness. Good! That's what this whole experiment is for!

Anyway, signing off now. Fare thee well good people of the internet!

Meme of the Day:

My Experience with a Job Coach (16/12/2019)

This happens... a lot!

Okay so here's some context: I have recently graduated from University (take that doctors who said I would be unable to walk or talk!) and I am currently facing what every person in their 20s face: job hunting... *shudder*. Yeah it hasn't been easy for me. The most I was able to get was a part-time job as a pub and I do mean part-time as my hours are limited to weekends. It soon started getting to me and tears followed as well as many a stressful night. Talking with my parents didn't help as I kept getting bombarded with suggestions which, while helpful, were overwhelming.

Thankfully, on the request of my employer and my Grandma (no they're not the same person), I signed up to a job coach. This turned out to be the best decision I made all year because now, this whole job-hunting malarkey is now making sense to me. Not only is my coach extremely helpful but they're encouraging too. In today's meeting, for example, they were able to fix my CV and help me apply for a job. Don't worry, I didn't end up lazy because of it. In fact, I applied for jobs on my own on the side... not that it helped since they do this annoying thing of not responding whatsoever... sometimes after interviews or trial shifts!

As for the rest of my day, not much to report other than getting Christmas cards to give to my theatre group on Wednesday. Because of my Christmas Timetable, my days are usually busy at night as I watched some more Christmas specials and reviewed Solo: A Star Wars Story on my film review site (which is the most pointless Star Wars film ever made). I'm also starting to get into Parks and Recreation which, while not the funniest show, is one of the most uplifting shows I've seen and it perks me up when the weight of loneliness crushes down on me.

And that's it. I dread to think what would happen if I ended up with a day of nothing but this experiment is working out well so far! Fare thee well good people of the internet!

Meme of the Day:

So About This Week... also Where the Heck Have I Been? (15/12/2019)

My new antlers got decorated... I am very pleased :D

Hello, good people of the internet! Long-time no see! I am aware of how popular this is but since my last post, I've been lost for ideas and I ended up forgetting about this as I tried to focus on my future. Naturally, this ended up being my best option so far so I thought I'd come back to it and this time, I'm going to try and do it daily. It's well and good learning about the broad strokes of autism but it's about time you saw how it affects our daily lives... well my daily life anyway.

Anywho, today has been very quiet. I try to keep myself productive both work-wise (I now have a part-time job) and socially (as that's lacking right now) but today was what I would describe as a 'lollopy' day. People like me are iPhones. We can survive activity but now and again, we need to recharge... this was my recharging period. Today I helped out my stepdad with food shopping for a roast dinner and my older sister visited (heck she and my mum gave me the idea to do this).

It felt needed this time though as my week has been rather tough. Socially, I've been more active than I've been for a while. I've gladly rejoined an amateur dramatics group and I've been partaking in social events with them including a night out at the pub and a Christmas Dinner yesterday. I also saw another panto starring my mum (It was Cinderella which I thought was really funny even if the plot kept getting in the way). If it was just them, I would have been exhausted but happy.

Then came the General Elections. As I mentioned in my last post, I'm not a political person but after realising how much damage the Conservatives would cause to the NHS, the lower class, ethnic minorities and people with disabilities (yes including autism), I had to vote against them and I did... only to find out it was for nothing as the Tories got a majority vote. I'm not going to lie, I have never been more ashamed of my country and more scared for my future. I genuinely considered moving to Germany or Ireland (as I know good people in the former and I love the culture of the latter) but I managed to calm down.

I remembered the story of Joseph from the Book of Genesis in the Bible (the one that got turned into an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical) and not only did my mind turn to said musical but also the VeggieTales' version which reimagined it as a western (don't ask). The message soon became clear to me and I'm finally able to ask the most annoying question a Christian can get asked: if God exists, why do bad things happen? Well now I have an answer: just because things are bad now, doesn't mean they'll stay bad and if we continue doing the right thing in the Lord's name, He will provide. This calmed me down and now I'm just about able to stay sane in these terrible times. But just in case, I'm not asking people who they voted for. I'm not losing any friends over something as petty as politics.

I also started reviewing every Star Wars film on my other site, Perfectly Honest Film Reviews and so far, I reviewed all the Prequels (only one of which I thought was good). Speaking of reviews, I tried getting into the habit of watching a new film every week but this week was so hectic (not to mention rainy) that I was unable to. My 'Frozen II' review will be delayed as a result but hopefully, the Star Wars reviews will tide you over.

I thought it would be a good time to mention my annual Holiday tradition. In 2016, I realised that I couldn't watch all of my favourite Christmas specials online, on TV and in film without organising it so I decided to create a time table. Year-by-year, not only did I perfect my Christmas schedule but I added ones for Halloween in 2017, November in 2018 (where I mixed things up by watching Bonfire Night Specials, things that mixed Halloween and Christmas, Doctor Who Anniversary specials and Christmas specials that didn't quite make the Christmas Timetable) and September in 2019 (simply because September got boring as a result). This year, I managed to balance my Holiday Schedules with my normal schedules and this year's Christmas timetable has been a success as I am feeling the Christmas mood, especially now that I have started the Doctor Who Christmas specials.

Anyway, that's all for today. I'll see if I can keep this up daily but hopefully, it can permanently bring this blog site back to life. Fare thee well good people of the internet!!!

Meme of the Day: 

Why I Refuse to Talk About Politics

Introduction

So in case you haven't noticed, I haven't really posted anything political on Facebook lately. All I post are memes, film-related rants and anything to do with Doctor Who and that's because I'm basically done with it. There are many reasons why (I'll get into those at the moment) this is the case but the long and short of it is that it's become a hostile environment. Like Gatsby pointed out above, it often descends into pointless arguments and I just hate that.

Now, just to be clear, I'm not entirely a-political. I consider myself to be a feminist (in the sense that I actually want gender equality!), I'm also rather PC (In that I don't mind when it shows up in media and I think people do need to be more accepting of those different to them) and I support those currently oppressed such as the LGBT+ community. And obviously, as an autist, I will continue to educate people and raise awareness about autism. But I will also concede that I keep these views to myself and in terms of if I lean left or right, I'm basically in the middle.

But enough beating around the bush, here's why I'm not really comfortable talking about political issues.

The Main Flurgemon

Thing 1: Politics is a shambles

Let's face it, the government aren't looking good. We have PMs changing more frequently than they should, multiple attempts at a vote of no confidence, Parliament disagreeing on what to do about Brexit and of course, Brexit. But here's the thing, I'm talking about the government in general. The Tories, Labour, UKIP, all of them seem to make unpopular decisions and if nobody is giving me a reason to follow them, then why should I? And don't get me started on America...

When the next General Election comes around, I genuinely would have no idea who to vote for! They're all problematic and, dare I say, broken so why should I? Besides, the election periods themselves gave me another reason to have disdain for politics.

Thing 2: It's become too angry and hostile

So I have friends who have different political views to me and to each other which is fine, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But during election periods, those views come to a head and honestly, it got ugly. There were pointless heated arguments left, right and centre and I got so sick of it that the only political rant I made was about how I'm sick of it bringing out the worst in people (which in turn inspired this blog funnily enough!)

But it's at its worse on the Internet. No matter what political view a person held, they would always rant and argue against those with a different view and it's gotten to the point where people continue ranting and pushing their views onto people despite there being no election. It's gotten so bad, it's one of the reasons why I unfollowed most of my friends on Facebook (that and seeing them constantly have an active life is not only mostly inaccurate but it also induced unhealthy jealousy).

Now I get it, people have a right to be angry in most cases, particularly when someone acts corrupt or immoral but it gets a bit much. I know of people at either end of the political spectrum who get angry and offended at the tiniest thing. And it can very easily turn personal to the point where insults are hurled. Plus, admittedly, it gets me angry too which is why I tend to avoid it to avoid the risk of hurting someone. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all and that's exactly what I'm doing. Otherwise, I'll just lose my faith in humanity.  

Thing 3: I don't personally experience racism, sexism and homophobia so I'm not the best person to talk about this

(Apologies for the strong language but it kind of reinforces the point I'm about to make)

That being said, once again to be clear, I am neither racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, Islamaphobic or any of the other 'ists' or 'phobics.' It genuinely baffles me as to why they exist (and no the Bible doesn't count, Jesus taught us to "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" [Matthew 7:12 and Luke 6:31] meaning that He expects us to love everyone, regardless of alleged sins) and I do consider those kinds of people to be backwards in their views. 

But I don't rant about it as much because I am a cis-gendered, heterosexual white male who also happens to be a Christian. I don't exactly have a leg to stand on when it comes to these things. That is except for ableism because, as someone with a learning disability, I have a leg to stand on. But even then, for the reasons explained in Thing 2, I only intend to educate and raise awareness, not rant. And when a man does something abhorrent, I do everything I can to prove that not all men are awful human beings and try to make sure that both men and women aren't being sexist to each other. But for the most part, every time I stand up for the LGBT+ community, the Black community, women and the Muslim community, I feel like a white knight rather than someone trying to help.

Thing 4: I'm not an expert!!!

Speaking of having no leg to stand on (for the most part), the biggest reason why I don't talk about politics is that I simply don't know enough about it. The reason I primarily talk about film and TV is that I consider myself to be an expert in that. I'll happily rant about problems in the film industry or badly done films or TV shows because I'm passionate about it whereas I'm not as passionate about politics. 

There's no point in talking about something I know little about because I could be talking out of my donkey for all I know. It's best to leave political talks to those who are passionate about it.

Conclusion

To be honest, all my grievances with politics all boil down to hostility. Whenever anybody talks about politics, it's always with anger. Angry about how the governments are morons and about how everyone is oppressed. Anger is sometimes good if you want to take a stand but all they're doing is painting yourself as an old man yelling at a cloud. What people like that need to do is balance things out. Advocate charities, educate people (especially about transgenderism and homosexuality because I feel like there isn't enough), showcase the good things people do as well as the bad things. Just spread positivity! 

That's why I frequently share memes. I know too many people who post angry rants on Facebook (often with good reason, don't get me wrong, but as I said, it gets too much!) so I post memes to remind people that it's okay to laugh and have fun. I also share them to cheer people up because no matter where you are on the political spectrum, these are dark times so it's good to hold on to the things that make us smile for the sake of our own sanity.

And I know it seems like I'm ignorant when I choose not to talk about these things but let it be known that I'm not ignoring them, there's just too much sadness, anger and fear going around social media already. You don't need me to add to it. 

But as Dumbledore said in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, "Happiness can be found in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light," and that is exactly what I'm doing (or trying to do) on Facebook. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please do as Gatsby says and keep the comments civil! And I hope you at least understand why I have chosen to be a-political. If you like what you see here, please comment below or message me on my Facebook page 'Joel Mole' for more topic ideas as my brain can only come up with so many ideas regarding real-life issues and autism.

Until then, be sure to share this around as Facebook's algorithm tends to bury my posts behind a paywall and any likes and comments go a long way. Until then, fare thee well good people of the internet.