I don't know about adults in the working world but I notice that
in secondary school at least, very similar people seem to bunch together don't
they...
Everywhere I look, people with similar
personality types all seem to bunch together in separate groups. Sure they mix
from time to time but generally, they all seem to be in their same groups be
they large or little. It reminds me of high school movies where you have the
jocks, stoners, nerds etc. on the male gender and the 'sluts', artists and
braniacs on the girl gender. Obviously it's less black and white and it's not always these groups in particular but I tend to
notice a similar pattern. The lads tend to hang out in one massive group, as do
their female equivalent for example. It all feels strange until I figured out
why: belonging.
If you meet someone with similar
personality traits and interests, you normally become friends with them because
you belong with them. Gradually you meet more of the similar people and they
band together to form a friendship group. It's simple enough to understand but
it leaves a few questions. Why are some groups bigger than others? Why don't
the groups integrate more often? Why is there seemingly a boy-girl divide? And
most importantly, does everyone belong in any of the groups?
I'll try to answer them all. The first
question is simply because there are more people with say a cocky trait than a
shy and nerdy trait and so the groups are differently sized depending on how
many people with the similar trait. Groups don't integrate more often simply
because of personality clashes with some people maybe disagreeing with others
on their morals. There is seemingly a boy-girl divide because guys are more
comfortable with guys and girls are pretty much the same (though I will point
out that as you get older, the divide becomes less apparent and they're
becoming more mixed thank goodness!). The last question... is a problem.
You see some people (like me at one point
and others I know) don't seem to fit in to all of the groups and thus feel like
they don't belong. This increases the feeling of isolation and the feeling that
no-one likes you very much. This, from personal experience, is a horrible
feeling and it's where I feel that friendship groups are a problem. It's
understandable why they exist but if it ends up creating people like this then
it's a worry. Also if a 'loner' does find a friendship group, it's normally
great but if their personality clashes with that group then they don't feel
like they belong. I know I struggled in the past year for that very reason and
I'm glad I found one that I can connect with.
Like I said, I was lucky but other people
I know aren't. Most of the time they're alone or upset because they are left
out for various reasons (one could be linked to my normality post). So what can
they do?
Well, I managed to cope without a group
for many years because of the fact that I had a close friend I can rely on.
Eventually, even the loneliest of people can find at least one friend that they
connect with, probably because they're either lonely too or because they're
personalities are similar as well. I know some of these people because I can
connect with them and I'm actually friends with them.
So overall, if you're in a friendship
group, that's fine, more power to you! Just try not to forget the people who
aren't because they may be going through a horrible feeling of isolation. Maybe
you could talk to them and even befriend them. Maybe it could make their lives
better.
And that concludes this thought from an autistic mind. What do you think about this? Let me know in the comments below, be sure to like my Facebook page 'Joel Mole' for more blogs and share this around to spread the word. Thank you for reading this and until the next time: fare thee well!
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