The Models Are Clones!!!!!

Have you ever noticed that in adverts for fashion, beauty products and so forth, the people in them fit the following description: skinny, blonde or brunette, mostly white and in their 20s? I don't get it. This planet has 7 billion people in it so why get people who always fit that description? What about people of different ethnicities, hair colour and ages? There is an explanation but that explanation has a lot of flaws. Could this be that television is full of people so alike they're practically clones?

The explanation is simple, we as humans have a concept of beauty and what is deemed beautiful can vary. At the moment, beauty is currently defined by what I've said above. This could be because we all need to agree on what is beautiful and this sort of thing makes sense. However, the problem is its effect on others.

For some, this lowers self-esteem as they deem themselves too fat or too spotty to be beautiful. This wouldn't be so bad if they weren't encouraged to be beautiful or mocked for their 'ugliness'. But this is a world where some people somehow feel entitled to say what they think and, possibly because of these adverts and other sources, feel like they can bully others based on their appearance. For those people: shut up you shallow nerfherders! Nothing gives you the right to lower a person's self esteem like that!!!!

This can get to extremes such as fasting just to get skinny which can lead to anorexia, depression for their 'lack of beauty' and surgery to make themselves look 'perfect.' The latter of which I've noticed celebrities do such as plastic surgery, liposuction, breast implants etc which alters their appearance so much they're hardly the person they once were (I'm looking at you Michael Jackson!).

This can fall into subtle things as well like make-up. Make-up always confuses me because it's like wearing a mask. Sure it looks pretty but it hides the real them. This is why I like it when women are more natural because they aren't afraid to show who they are and women who wear too much make-up look like Barbie.

Speaking of Barbie, I HATE dolls! Not just because the older ones are creepy but also because the newer ones send a bad message to children. Bratz especially teach girls that ugly people are bad and that you should focus your efforts on looks and fashion. This is... just... I.... WHAT??? I'm sorry but the media ticks me off sometimes! Celebrities, models and even flipping TOYS seem to say that anything other than skinny with occasionally big breasts and buttocks is perfect and anything else is not normal (oh for Pete's sake, this again?!)

It's not just girls, guys are expected to be muscly with stylised hair and again, go to extremes to get that far. Some guys (and people in general) only exercise to be in peak physical condition so that they would be beautiful. Some even go to Schwarzenegger levels of bodybuilding. Also 'creeps' are often associated to being bespectacled, spotty and greasy complete with braces. Some people who fit that description can be lovely and vice versa the models can be creepy. Eesh!

As an autistic, I actually don't get why there is a set view on what is beautiful and I'm sure other people like me are confused as to why others are put off by their appearance (if that is the case). In my eyes, personality makes the person. If they are physically attractive but horrible then they look like the Wicked Witch of the West to me but vice versa if they are quite plain looking but absolutely lovely then they are truly beautiful. I don't need to be told what is beautiful, I just need to find out for myself thank you. So media, next time you show something with one your clones in it, remember to consider this: other people want their chance, give it to them!

I'll end with a quote from Doctor Who's 'The Girl Who Waited' to sum up my views: "You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful, and then you actually talk to them and five minutes later they're as dull as a brick. Then there's other people, and you meet them and think, 'not bad, they're okay'. And then you get to know them, and their face just sort of becomes them, like their personality's written all over it. And they just turn into something so beautiful."

And that concludes this thought from an autistic mind. What do you think about this? Do you have any questions? Let me know in the comments below, be sure to like my Facebook page 'Joel Mole' for more blogs and share this around to spread the word. Thank you for reading this and until the next time: fare thee well! 

GIRL ALERT!: The awkward aspects to courting and dating

DISCLAIMER: Please note that I'm primarily referring to males here since I am one myself and I don't have much of a clue how women are in this kind of thing. However, I'm not ruling women out as this can just as easily apply to them whilst also giving a good insight as to how an awkward guy like me functions in the dating game. Also these are MY experiences since I'm not psychic therefore I do not fully understand how other people behave though I will address it.

When it comes to courting and dating , guys can act very differently. They can be confident, they can be creepy, they can be obsessed they can be awkward and shy or they are either  not keen or they cannot understand the concept of dating. I fit into the awkward category as I'm sure lots of other people like me are (autistic or otherwise).

Because of this, I am pretty inexperienced when it comes to the actual dating part as I was and still am too shy to admit to liking a girl. I have done in the past but that was only once or twice. It's actually weird since I have varying degrees of confidence when it comes to fessing up my feelings to someone. This is based on how likely the person I like is likely to say yes. If they are out of my league, I am likely to be rendered speechless since they are too amazing for me and they are the most likely kind of girl to say no. Thus, I will be too shy to even talk to them. On the flip-side, If I know someone well and actually have a lot of common with them, I build more confidence because I can actually see us together. But then again, it depends on my confidence alone.

Because I'm shy, not only will I be unable to tell the person I like that I like them, but also almost everyone else. This is because they are likely to tell said person without my permission which will lead to embarrassing situations (as it has done in the past numerous times). These moments are embarrassing yet strangely enough, my mind is conflicted because a part of me wanted them to know.

Then there's the issue of actually dating and I'll talk about awkward people (including women) in general because like I said, I'm not too experienced so this is purely a theory based on what I've seen in reality and media. Usually there are a lot of obstacles that an awkward person will experience whilst dating. This includes the first date (which is awkward for everyone to be fair) where guy like me without sufficient conversation skills and the habit of daydreaming may suffer awkward silences. Then there's physical contact such as kissing, hugging and sexual activity. Honestly physical contact depends on the person. They either want to jump straight into the physical stuff or take it slow and gradually start to do these things. I'm sort of in the latter...ish. Whilst I am a hugger and open to kissing (provided that the other person is willing), sex is nerve wracking to me and I'll likely never do it until I get married (as other sensible people do).

Like I said though, this is only my experience as well as people similar to me. Other people are lucky enough to be confidant (and at times TOO confident which worries me) whilst some other people prefer to be single (which is great, more power to you!). As for me and others like me, well, It's time to bring back a certain section:

How can you help people like me? (This is for the awkward people who aren't confident) - Give them reason to be confident. Like RPG games such as World of Warcraft, experience hopefully builds strength and confidence so they will be less nervous. During the dating game, give them advice on how to sail through it without causing many arguments and premature break-ups. During a break-up (a tough time for many) console them, let them be sad but at the same time remind them on what they still have.

Dating still continues to fascinate me with its complexities and numerous stages on how to establish and maintain a relationship as well as how to cope once that relationship is over. There are also some puzzling questions such as why men are expected to ask out women instead of the other way around and why most women prefer older men/why most men prefer younger women. Oh well, I'm sure you audience members have the answer.

And that concludes this thought from an autistic mind. What do you think about this? Do you have any questions? Let me know in the comments below, be sure to like my Facebook page 'Joel Mole' for more blogs and share this around to spread the word. Thank you for reading this and until the next time: fare thee well! 

Sports: It's just a game guys!!!

Now before I say anything I will say this. I completely understand the appeal of sports. It's a bit of fun that helps develop a lot of skills as well as improving your physical appearance and health. I also understand if people take it seriously as a life choice (as I know some people who do). Good for them, so long as you're good at it and work hard at it it's fine by me. My problem is when people take it too seriously.

Now this applies to a lot of things such as movies and video games as there are a lot of heated arguments about them and I have been guilty about debating the former. But I'll give movies a pass since it does have the power to influence a person's way of thinking. Video games and sports however? Calm down, it's just a bit of fun! Now when talking about sports I don't mean stuff like the Olympics or The World Cup since there is more at stake than just competitiveness since for people of harsh backgrounds, this is all they have and again, it's a lifestyle choice and I respect that. I'm on about smaller scale sports events like P.E. for instance.

I HATED P.E. when I did it in school. It was too intense for my liking and I was rubbish at all the sports I did. However, I hate sports like Football more than athletic sports (which I don't hate that much I just suck at it) is because of the pressure. People just suddenly expected me to be to be good at it even though I'm rubbish and it is too intense for my liking. When the ball comes to me, I panic because people charge at me as well so I kick the ball anywhere. This usually comes to the opposing team and my own team gets angry.... even though there's nothing at stake.

You regardless of the stakes, sports fans treat it like a fight to the death. This is especially true of fighting sports (where they literally do that), Rugby (where there are a heck-load of injuries), dodgeball (*shudder*) and of course football, which is probably the most popular sport in the world. Even if it is just a bit of fun, players and fans are just so serious that it stops being fun. And that's my issue with sports, if people don't seem to have fun and yell all the time, why should I have fun.

Like I said, this is also true of other things such as movies and video games. Movies are so critically analysed that they stop being just popcorn entertainment (though I will admit, I'm guilty of this). Video games are so competitive that in co-op games such as DotA, people just yell left right and centre complete with swearing. Even the Internet is just a hive for yellers especially in YouTube.

My message is this, if you're passionate about something, that's fine, more power to you! Just don't ruin it for the rest of us. Especially if we are not on the same level as you.

And that concludes this thought from an autistic mind. What do you think about this? Let me know in the comments below, be sure to like my Facebook page 'Joel Mole' for more blogs and share this around to spread the word. Thank you for reading this and until the next time: fare thee well! 

Banter cheeses me off!

Banter seems to be becoming more prominent in society with the rise of the Internet and shows such as the Inbetweeners developing a 'lad' culture. The biggest trait of the 'lads' is the use of banter which is basically teasing in a playful way. However sometimes it can go to far to the point where insults are passed off as 'banter'

So what counts as banter and when does it go too far as some of these, particularly when directed at the subject's personal issues, tend to do. Well it all depends on the subject's mood and whether or not they can take it. If the person recognises that it's a joke then they'll laugh along. For example, Yo Mama jokes are a form of banter and whilst it can be seen as offensive, most people know these as jokes and occasionally join in. However, when they get a bit carried away, things can get ugly fast.

What I mean by this is that sometimes, direct insults to the subject and their family are starting to be passed off as banter. For example, harsh insults concerning your background, family and appearance may not fly well with the subject and thus becoming upset about it. The insulter may then say 'it was only banter mate'. To them I say: no.... just no. No no no no no no no no no no NO! That is NOT what you say! You think that insults like that are a JOKE? Ugh..... If you are one of those people then... just no.

How does this link with autism? Well we tend to be the people who take harsh banter seriously. We're literal like that and so any insult, no matter if it's a joke, will be taken seriously and to heart and banter is no exception. This is why I don't like banter because the people don't seem to recognise that the subjects are being hurt. It isn't just that, but they seem to use it as an excuse to be sexist with phrases such as 'get in there' and 'she's got nice tits' and I hate people who say these. Hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it!

I apologise if this seems ranty but this cheeses me off! People should not use banter as an excuse to be cruel! In fact, if this is what banter has become, then it should just go and be replaced by jokes that are NOT at other people's expense! *Sigh* basically, next time you're bantering, please remember who you're bantering about and try to remember that they have feelings. Then banter can have a good name again.

And that concludes this thought from an autistic mind. What do you think about this? Let me know in the comments below, be sure to like my Facebook page 'Joel Mole' for more blogs and share this around to spread the word. Thank you for reading this and until the next time: fare thee well! 

Smart Phones: Our new evil overlords

OK the title made me sound like a conspiracy nut but here me out! What I'm saying is that mobile phones, particularly smart phones, have somewhat diminished, perhaps killed, social interaction. This is because of one big reason... it's overused

I've noticed in public places such as restaurants that instead of talking face to face, they just text other people! This, I find, is actually kind of rude because they seem to be disregarding the people around them. I myself do not have a phone so I feel like a victim to this but it isn't just texting or checking Facebook, music plays a part to this too.

Now, I love music don't get me wrong but good grief there's a time and a place to play it! When you're on your own in a safe environment, it's fine. But when you're a) with other people and b) walking near a road then it's ridiculous. Why? Because they have headphones on which means that all they can hear is music. Not only is that unsociable but potentially dangerous as you can get so immersed you may not be able to notice a busy road and you might end up as a person pizza.

The sad thing is, people use them everywhere now. In cinemas where people are trying to watch the film and  in social gatherings where you really should be talking to people. The latter is especially annoying for people like me.

Like I said, I don't have a phone so imagine how annoying it must be when I want to talk to someone but they can't here me because they have headphones on. Or an even worse situation when they flat out ignore me by texting or checking social media sites. I'm having a hard time making conversations as it is! I don't need phones to make it worse! Heck even if I did have a phone I'll probably be the same or even worse!

What I think people should do is that use phones for their primary purpose only in public and using it for other stuff in private areas such as home. Texting and messaging should only be for emergencies and private places. Maybe then social interaction can rise again but then again, I can't control 6 billion people...

The reason why phones are our new evil overlords is because we almost seem enslaved to it. Perhaps we're living in an age where we go on cyberspace more than meatspace. Even I'm not entirely innocent because I have a laptop which has a similar effect. Bottom line, if we're all getting addicted to these things, at the rate we're going, we're all going to be Cybermen in the future...

And that concludes this thought from an autistic mind. What do you think about this? Let me know in the comments below, be sure to like my Facebook page 'Joel Mole' for more blogs and share this around to spread the word. Thank you for reading this and until the next time: fare thee well! 

Friendship groups: A high school cliché come to life

I don't know about adults in the working world but I notice that in secondary school at least, very similar people seem to bunch together don't they...

Everywhere I look, people with similar personality types all seem to bunch together in separate groups. Sure they mix from time to time but generally, they all seem to be in their same groups be they large or little. It reminds me of high school movies where you have the jocks, stoners, nerds etc. on the male gender and the 'sluts', artists and braniacs on the girl gender. Obviously it's less black and white and it's not always these groups in particular but I tend to notice a similar pattern. The lads tend to hang out in one massive group, as do their female equivalent for example. It all feels strange until I figured out why: belonging.

If you meet someone with similar personality traits and interests, you normally become friends with them because you belong with them. Gradually you meet more of the similar people and they band together to form a friendship group. It's simple enough to understand but it leaves a few questions. Why are some groups bigger than others? Why don't the groups integrate more often? Why is there seemingly a boy-girl divide? And most importantly, does everyone belong in any of the groups?

I'll try to answer them all. The first question is simply because there are more people with say a cocky trait than a shy and nerdy trait and so the groups are differently sized depending on how many people with the similar trait. Groups don't integrate more often simply because of personality clashes with some people maybe disagreeing with others on their morals. There is seemingly a boy-girl divide because guys are more comfortable with guys and girls are pretty much the same (though I will point out that as you get older, the divide becomes less apparent and they're becoming more mixed thank goodness!). The last question... is a problem.

You see some people (like me at one point and others I know) don't seem to fit in to all of the groups and thus feel like they don't belong. This increases the feeling of isolation and the feeling that no-one likes you very much. This, from personal experience, is a horrible feeling and it's where I feel that friendship groups are a problem. It's understandable why they exist but if it ends up creating people like this then it's a worry. Also if a 'loner' does find a friendship group, it's normally great but if their personality clashes with that group then they don't feel like they belong. I know I struggled in the past year for that very reason and I'm glad I found one that I can connect with.

Like I said, I was lucky but other people I know aren't. Most of the time they're alone or upset because they are left out for various reasons (one could be linked to my normality post). So what can they do?

Well, I managed to cope without a group for many years because of the fact that I had a close friend I can rely on. Eventually, even the loneliest of people can find at least one friend that they connect with, probably because they're either lonely too or because they're personalities are similar as well. I know some of these people because I can connect with them and I'm actually friends with them.

So overall, if you're in a friendship group, that's fine, more power to you! Just try not to forget the people who aren't because they may be going through a horrible feeling of isolation. Maybe you could talk to them and even befriend them. Maybe it could make their lives better.

And that concludes this thought from an autistic mind. What do you think about this? Let me know in the comments below, be sure to like my Facebook page 'Joel Mole' for more blogs and share this around to spread the word. Thank you for reading this and until the next time: fare thee well! 

Normality makes you go baaaaaaaa

Looking back at my other posts I realised that I haven't put any actual thoughts yet. Instead I have been educating you about autism which was fine since you seemed interested but now let's actually follow what I intended to do. With that said, here are my thoughts on normality.

Now in order to keep society in check, you have to establish some regulations to follow. These are called social norms and if people keep to them everything's all hunky-dory right? Well kind of. You see there is a fine line between good normal and bad normal. Good normal is basically a law abiding citizen who does good for society. Bad normal is doing what everyone else does.

What appears to me is that if you follow the behaviours of others you are considered normal, no matter if that behaviour is good or bad. So, for example, if the most popular person in school is a troublemaker and a jerk, then to follow them makes you popular as well? That doesn't ring true... if anything that shouldn't be normal at all. On top of that, if everyone was 'normal' then what makes them special? What makes them stand out from the crowd? If anything they seem like sheep.

Another thing that bothers me is that if people are different then they are potentially classed as weird. Of course some people who stand out are popular because they are talented, clever, likable or cool but if the person stands out for another reason say because they're quirky or have some sort of physical or mental imperfection then suddenly they're weird or freaks? This confuses me... does being normal make you liked and if so, are you independent because of it?

What bothers me more is that what is considered normal constantly changes! Nerds and geeks were constantly pushed aside yet because of the success of comic book movies such as The Avengers they are slightly more accepted! Being gay was considered so abnormal it was illegal at one point. Now gay marriage has been legalised in places such as Ireland and the US in this year alone. It keeps changing and it makes me wonder if normality even exists!

On top of that, if being normal is more accepted, then why in the name of Gallifrey are some of the most famous people considered weird? Look at Albert Einstein! He was an oddball to say the least and yet he was considered one of the best scientists! Look at Steve Jobs! He was nerdy and yet he created our new evil overlords... I mean... one of the most used products our time: The Apple devices.

So basically not being normal can lead to great things yet abnormality is frowned upon. Even people like me are considered weirdos because we're what they don't understand. Actually thinking about it, maybe that's why not being normal is frowned upon. To quote every movie ever "People fear what they don't understand" and it's likely that the abnormal are simply what people don't understand. Maybe that's why gay marriage is more accepted. Maybe that's why nerdy things are cooler. Maybe that's why normality changes. It changes based on what we do or do not understand.

So my advice is this: try to understand the abnormal. Try to understand why they behave like this and maybe, just maybe, they'll be more accepted. Maybe people will be less like sheep and their shepherds will not mind. Maybe… maybe normality will no longer exist. But that's me wishfully thinking...

And that concludes this thought from an autistic mind. What do you think about this? Let me know in the comments below, be sure to like my Facebook page 'Joel Mole' for more blogs and share this around to spread the word. Thank you for reading this and until the next time: fare thee well! 

Coping with New Environments

As of writing this blog, I am currently in Scotland. This is somewhere I have never been before, let alone stayed in, and thus, everything feels alien to me. The reason I feel like this is because my normal routine has changed and everything is completely different.

This is not uncommon for people like me to feel uncomfortable in a new environment as we're so used to our normal area. So when we go somewhere new to meet new people, we naturally feel nervous as all sorts of things rush through our heads. Is this place dangerous? Are the people nice? What is in this place? Etc. 

It also didn't help that I had quite possibly the longest car journey in my life! It was a 9 hour journey from the South West of England to Scotland complete with hour long delays and service station visits. Everything felt too much and it was a miracle that I managed to cope.

So what made Scotland more nerve-wracking than say Disneyland Paris (which I went to a few weeks ago)? My theory is familiarity. In Disneyland, I practically had all of my immediate family with me so there were a few people I knew. That and the fact that it was Disneyland made the trip more comfortable... even though I felt relieved to be back in England. With Scotland, it was only one family member. The others I didn't know so well so it was more difficult to connect with them as opposed to my family which I've had years to connect with. That and Scotland is cold.

I kind of feel glad I went to university open days because I had time to acclimatise to what is possibly my future home which is good since for a while, I will be the only person I know. In time I know I will get used to new environments but the initial shock is still quite daunting.

How can you help people like me? - If you notice them feeling uncomfortable in a new environment, talk to them. Give them that familiarity that they need so they can connect with their new environment better. Help them get to know the new people so that they can feel familiar with them as well. When it's the case where they are on their own, check on them to see if they have settled in via phone calls and social network sites. It is also noteworthy to tell the new people that they have autism (provided that the person with autism is comfortable with it) then they will hopefully understand and act appropriately.

And that concludes this thought from an autistic mind. What do you think about this? Let me know in the comments below, be sure to like my Facebook page 'Joel Mole' for more blogs and share this around to spread the word. Thank you for reading this and until the next time: fare thee well! 

'Inside Out' and the importance of sadness

WARNING! THIS THOUGHT CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE 'INSIDE OUT'! IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE AND YOU ARE AFRAID OF SPOILERS THEN WATCH THE MOVIE BEFORE YOU READ THIS! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

I'm doing something a little different by including a movie in this thought. For starters, Disney Pixar's 'Inside Out' is an amazing movie with oodles of clever symbolism, stellar animation, a creative use of the concept and a lot of emotion and heart to it. However what stuck out for me is its main message and how the character of Riley, and subsequently her emotions, deals with a massive change in her life.

You see at the age of 11, Riley moves from a comfortable life in Minnesota to the less favourable San Francisco. The emotions in her head, Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust are faced with this problem. How the movie deals with this represents the different stages of going through this change. For starters, Joy tries to keep Riley happy which shows Riley's initial positive attitude but bad things keep happening such as her favourite food is 'poisoned' with broccoli, the removal van is late and all her happy memories seem much more sad (as represented by Sadness literally changing the moods of each memory sphere). This doesn't help by the fact that on her first day of school, she breaks down when she remembers Minnesota in the middle of her classroom. It's at this point where Joy and Sadness, the two emotions needed for this change, are sucked out of headquarters into long term memory.

This leaves fear, anger and disgust in charge of her life and as best as they try to keep Riley happy, they end up making Riley more secluded and hostile. Things get worse when her core personalities, goofiness, friendship, hockey, honesty and family collapse as she isn't as good with them in this new environment. It is also worth mentioning that Sadness, throughout the film, is outcast as the other emotions do not understand her purpose. However, when things get drastic and Riley runs away, Joy and sadness return and it is by this point where Joy understands Sadness's purpose: to let others know when she is having a problem. When Sadness takes over, she returns to her parents and finally confesses her problems and not only do her problems disappear but she grows as a person, as shown by a more complex headquarters with mixed emotion memory cores and new and numerous personality islands. It was then when I understood what this movie represents.

When I face problems like this (e.g. fall-outs and changes in routine), I don't often admit that I'm sad, because I don't understand that it's ok to be sad. And thus I bottle up my sadness which can let my fear, anger and disgust take over. Even when I try to appear happy in front of others to hide my sadness but even then it feels false. So when I do show sadness, others realise that something is wrong and they comfort me. However, I often find it difficult to show sadness, especially as I am a 17 year old male who, as society dictates, must never cry or show sadness in order to act 'manly.' This is especially confusing as I want to fit in (much like Riley did) but I also want to show my problems. I also realise that people with more severe autism legitimately struggle to show the appropriate emotions for dire situations such as moving house and they may not even realise that they're feeling these ways.

How can you help people like me? - Teach them about sadness and tell them, especially teenage autistics, its importance and let them know when they can be sad. Also, if they do go through a situation as drastic as Riley's, talk to them. Let them know it's going to be ok and if you ask them how they are and they act more differently than usual, talk to them because something is likely wrong. Maybe then they will admit to sadness and you can comfort them and help fix their problem. And if it's a boy my age under pressure under manly stereotypes, tell them that stereotypes are hokum and that they can be themselves.

And that concludes this thought from an autistic mind. What do you think about this? Let me know in the comments below, be sure to like my Facebook page 'Joel Mole' for more blogs and share this around to spread the word. Thank you for reading this and until the next time: fare thee well! 

Concentration and La-La Land

One of the more peculiar and more frustrating aspects of autism, at least for me, is my lack of concentration. Often I would zone out and daydream about various different things. It can be argued that's what people do anyway but in my case, I think there is a reason. 

I often find that when I'm not doing anything in situations such as walking, lectures etc. my mind sort of wonders and I don't even realise it until a few minutes later. This was much worse when I was younger where the times in which I fazed out of reality were much longer even to the points where I missed entire lectures. Where I zoned out to be different as well as it was an actual place called 'La-La Land.' Now it's different as I imagine myself as Doctor Who fighting monsters old and new. 

As I implied, it's improving as I am more aware of my daydreaming but this still causes problems. During lectures where I don't do anything but listen I struggle to pay attention and at times, I miss key details. This may also affect my future as because of this, I won't be able to drive as I may get distracted and drive into a wall or something. There are times where I can zone out, particularly when I'm on my own during my free time and when I want to be on my own. Even when I am taking a stroll, zoning out makes it more peaceful (though I have to pay attention when crossing the road).

A weird side effect of this is talking to myself. Often when I am alone I am free to speak my mind as the things in my head seem begging to go out. I often talk quietly to myself though there were times, to my embarrassment, where other people heard me. I know other people do this but more loudly and whilst that can be annoying, I can't blame them since I do the same.

So what are the causes of this? As I said, as I am inactive, my brain just sort of goes into screensaver a bit like a computer when that is inactive as it plays flashy images in my mind. Also there are triggers. When someone says something film related for example (particularly in film studies), my mind daydreams about me in the film industry as that is where I want to work when I am older. Doctor Who, my #1 obsession, is also a primary daydream so any mention of that may set me off as well. Honestly, it's like my brain is trying to make excuses to daydream as it seems to love fantasy more than reality.

And now a new section I would like to call:

How can you help people like me? - I would suggest teaching people to become self-aware of this so that they would daydream less. Also if they do daydream in an important situation (e.g. a lesson), and you'll know this because they'll stare blankly into space, get them back to reality by saying their name. I usually react to my name so that certainly helps. If they're alone daydreaming or if they're daydreaming in a situation that doesn't require them to concentrate, let them. Also the things we daydream can be quite imaginative so encourage them to write it down (provided it's appropriate of course).

And that concludes this thought from an autistic mind. What do you think about this? Let me know in the comments below, be sure to like my Facebook page 'Joel Mole' for more blogs and share this around to spread the word. Thank you for reading this and until the next time: fare thee well! 

Conversations and Online Messaging

One of the downsides to autism is the fact that I can't hold a conversation to save my life. Yet... strangely enough my experiences with conversations online and in reality are similar yet they have different advantages and disadvantages so I'll go through both types individually.

In reality, whilst it is more difficult to start conversations but easier to hold one. This is because it's easier to ramble in real life than online and that the conversations in reality are more flowing. What I mean by this is that I'm not restricted by the effort of typing. All I have is my voice and to me that is easy to use. But then there's the problem of initiating conversations. To friends and family it's fine since I know they're friendly but to new people and especially adults, it's nerve-racking and I can't be the only one to face this problem. I know some people who are too shy to talk to me let alone the other way around! And I get that, it can be really difficult, especially with people they don't know. However reality does have one big advantage over online conversations and that's emotion. In reality, I can emphasise my points much better because I can raise my voice to make it clear how I feel. If I'm upset, I'm able to show I'm upset (though showing how I feel is another matter entirely).

This sadly, is not the case with online conversations. In fact, everything I just said is almost opposite here whilst also having fresh problems. The obvious problem is again, emotion. Emojis help but they don't emphasise the points as much as the human voice does or heck any voice for that matter. This has made it hard for me to fix certain arguments I've had with people and it really frustrates me and it is the primary reason why I prefer normal conversations. This is why Skype is my favourite form of social media because I can emote whilst simultaneously talking to people without travelling.

Another problem I find with online messaging is response rates. It is annoying when I say an open sentence and people either take a while to respond or don't respond at all. This is because in reality, most people respond straightaway and if they delay their response, it would be considered rude. Now granted they may have a reason why that is but it still bugs me. However, the part that annoys me the most is how I respond. I usually ask 'hello?' once or maybe even more times and I hate it because it's the equivalent of poking someone and I feel bad for those people. In fact, I feel the same in initiating conversations. When I message some people I feel like I'm bugging them even if they react with friendliness and I don't know why! If I messaged them often them maybe but I don't, in fact ironically it's for that very reason that I don't message them often. I know it sounds weird, especially as I'm normal with some of them in reality but that's how I feel.
Now that I think about it, maybe that's why I'm shy in conversation starting in the first place. I always feel that some people don't want to talk to me for various reasons even if that might not be the case. It's just something I experience and honestly, I can't explain why very well.

I guess when you get down to it, online messaging is easier to start since I can just wait out the nervousness by closing the tab until I'm ready but then the conversation feels... awkward. It comprises mostly of small talk and that's because I struggle to think of a good conversation starter to launch a lengthy conversation and I also hate it because I really want to have good conversations with people. I guess that's why I make friends with fellow Whovians (Doctor Who fans) because we have a mutual interest that we can have lengthy discussions about.

Overall, I will reluctantly continue using online messaging because that seems to be the most reliable way I can talk to people when I don't meet up with them but when I do, so long as I'm not too shy to talk to them, I will likely have a good, flowing and lengthy conversation with them.

What are your opinions on this issue? Sound off in the comments below what you think and remember that what you read is entirely opinion and you don't have to agree with it. Just know that this is my and likely other autistic people's experiences.

Introduction to autism

As an autistic, I tend to have my own separate opinion on different subject matters such as the media, the current lifestyle and other stuff such as politics.

Hopefully this blog will convey those views in some form or another as I hope that people will understand what goes through our heads.

For starters, I will explain what autism is for those of you readers who don't have a clue what I'm on about. Autism, according to the NHS, is a condition that 'affects social interaction, communication, interests and behaviour.' Basically it's a way of saying that our brain functions a different way to others.

Now what's fascinating about autism is that it is on a spectrum. This means that it is likely that no two autistic people are the same. For example, one autistic person can function well into society whilst others have a completely different mind-set to 'normal' people. What is normal is up for debate which I will probably discuss another time.

I myself am pretty high functioning but I wasn't always like this. When I was younger I was completely lost in my own world. This meant that I was too 'different' and 'weird' to play with the other children and it wasn't until Year 4 in primary school that I made some proper friends. Some of that awkwardness remains to this day as I feel too shy to talk to certain people and I can be brutally honest which has led to fall outs in the past. Now I am back to reality (for the most part) but I still consider myself socially awkward as I can't even hold a conversation to save my life.

Another issue is that I get anxious at certain situations that wouldn’t normally get a reaction from people. For example, I hate sudden loud noises such as balloons popping, small explosions such as in pantomimes and fire alarms, especially when I expect them to happen. I especially get anxious in busy situations which is why I hate playing sports such as football and places such as London.  I also hate talking to people on the phone since I can't normally hear them properly and I usually get it wrong. Then there's my concentration. I often daydream in situations when I don't do anything and this happens during bus journeys, walking and unfortunately lectures.

That's not to say it's all bad. The honesty can sometimes be good as we (meaning autistics) are sincere in our opinions and if that opinion is positive, it makes it all the more meaningful. When I do daydream it can be quite imaginative which unlocks infinite potential in the creative medium which I'm sure is similar to other people in that spectrum. I and a few other people are also very knowledgeable in certain subjects. For example, I almost religiously follow the TV show 'Doctor Who' and I can usually recite all the episodes from 2005 to the present day in order. It is also important to say that since it has become such a part of me that if a cure came around, I would not dare take it as I cannot imagine myself without it.

So overall, whilst autism is problematic, it is also unique in the way we think and feel which often clashes with social norms. I hope that, with this blog, I can shed some light on these views so that people who know people with autism but do not know how to think like them can understand them more.