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Saturday, 16 March 2019

Defining My Weirdness 2: Sequel Title


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Introduction

Sooo funny story. I initially wanted to do this on my Facebook page but there is WAY too much to unpack here so I thought I'd do it on this so it looks professional and stuff.

Now as you may or may not know, I did something like this already hence the sequel title but seeing as this is a brand-spanking new list, I thought it would be fun to address it in a fun list with headings and everything! What I usually do with these is go through them and see which ones I fit into and how. Like last time, this sort of thing will explain my weird behaviour to those of you who know me.

Anyway, ON WITH THE SHOW!!!!!!!

The Long List of I-Can't-Find-a-Synonym-For-Symptoms-Beginning-With-L

Social Signs

  • May feel like you become whoever you're around most - I can be easily influenced so that's true for me.
  • May constantly rehearse conversations or interactions - Very true both before and after the conversation which is weird because I end up winging it anyway. 
  • May feel as though you are always on stage - This is rather literal in my case as I love me some theatre but figuratively, not really. 
  • May have a few close friends but not many acquaintances - This rather depends... at secondary school and outside of uni this is very much the case and I prefer it that way but at uni, I have many acquaintances but they're less close to me.
  • May see the world literally and in black and white - There have been times where I took the world literally but I see everyone as capable of having good and evil in them so I don't think the world is as black and white. Plus, it's very colourful (when British weather decides to act uncharacteristically nice)
  • May struggle with other people breaking rules - Oh my gosh yes! I hate getting into trouble and I will have no part in rule breaking. Also, never offer to play Grand Theft Auto with me... I will panic...

Sensory Signs

  • May be a very picky eater with few preferred foods - I've gotten more open-minded these days (though for some reason, vegetables are my kryptonite) but once upon a time I was so bad, my mum had to write the days of the week on bananas to get me to eat them.
  • May struggle with noises, touching or sensory input - Loud noises can cause me to get so distressed, I have to go to quiet rooms to calm down. It's the reason I'm terrified of balloons, fire alarms and jump scares. I'm quite weird with touching as I'm okay with it but only if a) they verbally consent for me to do so and b) they do it to me. I will say that I have a big personal bubble that I don't always feel comfortable popping. Things like hugging and hand-holding I'm okay with but more intimate things like kissing I am way more careful with (my stance on sexual contact is TBC atm) As for the other sensory inputs, certain noises like loud chewing/swallowing, keyboard clacking and whispering drives me up the wall and texture is the primary reason why I'm not a fruit guy. 
  • May seek out squeezing hugs when worried or upset - Yup, I'm a hugger. I even offer hugs to other people who are worried or upset.
  • May chew, rub or tap certain materials obsessively - This is very true for me. I always fiddle or chew on something instinctively. My personal favourite fiddling device is blu-tack.
  • May struggle to process visual or auditory information - Mostly auditory and I think it's an attention thing. It's the reason why I watch movies with subtitles. 
  • May struggle to settle body down enough for restful sleep - Sometimes true. Sometimes I struggle to get to sleep, other times I sleep like a log. It's rather inconsistent.

Behavioural Signs

  • May often fidget, chew, tap or other repetitive behaviours - See above. I also tend to rock a lot or shake my right knee. 
  • May get more or less upset at something that is "appropriate" - I have no idea what this means... do they mean sex? If so, I'm probably leaning towards more but I usually act flustered more than anything... yeah I'm out. I have no idea what this means.
  • May be very involved in specific hobbies and interests - My hobbies are very creatively-based so things like writing and theatre (sometimes both) are my top hobbies. As for interests... diddly-dum, diddly-dum, diddly-dum, diddly-dum...
  • May struggle to adjust to when plans change without warning - Yes! Always tell me what the plan is in advance! I especially hate it when people cancel last minute.
  • May have routines that don't seem to have a real purpose - Yes. For example, I go through Doctor Who plotlines in my head. I'm a living synopsis machine.
  • May struggle in situations that are unfamiliar - Even if it means going to an unfamiliar place, this is true. I can struggle to adapt to my new surroundings. It can take a couple of days for me to do so.

Communication Signs

  • May experience pain or discomfort during eye contact - File that under discomfort. I don't tend to look into people's eyes or even faces sometimes.
  • May struggle to keep track of a fast conversation - Yes. My brain can only go so fast people!
  • May take jokes very literally and not understand teasing - I'm mostly good with jokes and puns but teasing... I still get very wound up when people tease me and they have to clarify that is exactly what they're doing.
  • May miss sarcasm and subtleties while others are speaking - Not severe with sarcasm but it can happen but I'm also rubbish at reading people. I think that's why I'm single the more I think about it...
  • May prefer to communicate via text or email - I certainly prefer that to speak on the phone!!! I'm perfectly fine speaking with people face-to-face though! In fact, I prefer it because it gives me a better idea as to what they're like.
  • May not understand why blunt honesty can be seen as rude - Yeah my brain-to-mouth filter isn't the best and whilst it has been helpful, as people can trust my opinion, it has gotten me into trouble multiple times.

Conclusion

Aaaaaaaand that's it! Like before, I hope this gives you an insight into what goes on in my brain. And remember, not everyone experiences these symptoms and some could affect them more severely than others. If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism. This is just an insight as to how it affects me in particular.

If you're autistic and you're reading this, how accurate are these to you? And if you're neurotypical, does this at least explain why I'm like this?

Sound off below and be sure to like my Facebook page Joel Mole for memes and updates. I welcome suggestions for future posts like these! Until then, fare thee well good people of the internet.

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