So to get me through lockdown (or whatever the heck Boris Johnson made this), I decided to watch Community because it was highly recommended from a good friend of mine and I heard that one of the characters was similar to me. Well, I'm one season in and it's already one of my new favourite shows. The show details the weird and wacky adventures of a study group at Greendale Community College. Not only is it hilarious but it continually thinks outside the box when it comes to situational comedy. I highly recommend it to anyone and the entire show is on Netflix. I look forward to the inevitable movie whenever that gets officially announced.
But to me, the biggest draw for this show is the character of Abed Nadir. Remember one paragraph ago when I said there was a character that was just like me, that's him. Like me, he is clearly on the Spectrum and also like me, he is fascinated and downright obsessed with films and TV shows, to the point where he references them constantly. Plus his favourite TV show is about a British time traveller (they can't legally use Doctor Who). He can also be blunt, have difficulty communicating with people but tends to be very sweet.
So besides the fact that he's my spiritual twin, why do I think he's the best autistic character? For starters, he's hilarious. In keeping with the show's creative humour, he is so into TV shows that he constantly compares life to a TV show. Thus he seems to be aware that he's in a TV show which leads to a lot of great moments such as how he releases his web show about his friends antics before they actually happen one week later. That combined Danny Pudi's excellent comedic timing and wide variety of expressions makes Abed one of the funniest characters in sitcom history. Up there with Captain Holt from Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Arnold Rimmer from Red Dwarf.
But it was the seventeenth episode of Season 1, 'Physical Education', that really sold to me why Abed a fantastic representation of people on the Spectrum. In the episode, the group discovers that somebody drew a flattering picture of Abed in a study book, leading them to deduce that somebody likes him. Though Abed doesn't seem fussed, the rest of the group (minus protagonist Jeff Winger, who has his own plot within the episode and is respectful of Abed's decision) is eager to set him up on a date. After him being himself results in him acting like a vampire, the group encourages him to act like someone else, much to Jeff's annoyance. After a few false starts (including a surprisingly good impression of Don Draper from Mad Men), they decide that he's ready to ask her out. In a plot twist, it turns out that not only does she have a boyfriend, said boyfriend looks like Abed but white. The group are devastated for Abed but he turns out to be fine with it. And it's at this moment where Abed became someone to aspire to be:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlkuxEN8Z0M
After that, the group learns to mind their own business and like he predicted, someone approaches him at the end of the episode.
You see there is one key difference between me and Abed... okay several: I'm white, I'm a Christian instead of a Muslim and I have had difficulties with my father instead of my mother but aside from all that, the biggest difference between Abed and I is self-esteem. Abed is very much happy with who he is and he is practically bulletproof as he isn't offended that the group (minus Jeff) believes him to be incapable of finding someone on his own merits (which he had every right to be because that is rather insulting). If anything, he allows it so he can connect with his friends. I am not like that. I don't have much faith in own abilities outside of the creative industry, I don't believe I'm good dating material (though like Abed, I do prefer to let women approach me because I'm too clueless and/or nervous to approach them) and I worry constantly what other people think about me.
Abed doesn't seem to care about that. While he does have issues which he struggles to communicate and he is capable of being angry or upset, he doesn't let all that affect his overall confidence. And last night, after watching that episode, I realised that a lack of confidence and low self-esteem was what held me back. For example, when I am comfortable around people, I tend to act more confidently and it's usually then where I am able to connect with people.
But there are things I have no confidence for whatsoever. With the exception of walking, I am very uncomfortable with physical activities due to a (possibly perceived, possibly real) lack of coordination, balance, posture and strength, and when I fail, it gets to my head and I stress out i.e. getting questions wrong or not being able to get what I'm supposed to do. Heck until I grew my beard, I thought I wasn't much to look at either. Just a weird, balding, alien-looking man with a giant forehead. All this possibly stems from an emotionally abusive former stepdad and my peers at secondary school constantly mocking me (especially during P.E.). And my dating site experiences have been so bad that I'm no longer able to use them without feeling rubbish.
But seeing Abed face similar opposition and taking it in his stride basically taught me to try and get out of my shell. Obviously, I can't fix that immediately and lockdown prevents me from experimenting with this newfound social clarity with ease but for the first time since lockdown started, I was actually hopeful and happy. Abed is someone I can aspire to be as he is very much the best version of myself. Someone who's just as socially inept and passionate about fictional media as I am but owns it and tries to be better as a result. If Abed can take his difficult existence in his stride then so can I.
I'll see how long this epiphany lasts and I will update you on this but until then, fare thee well good people of the internet.
 |
| If I ever returned to the world of dating apps, I am so using this gif as an opener. |
