Feminism... it's really misunderstood. The movement to promote gender
equality has now been perceived as a movement designed to prevent oppression on
women. It's a fair assumption since women are generally more oppressed than men
and there are gigantic twonks out there who do oppress and harm women. Make no
mistake, female subordination is a huge issue but radical and other feminists
who have warped the idea are forgetting one thing: what about men? We have our
own problems too you know! Admittedly we have less problems than women but I
want to address certain injustices that men face as well, particularly the
concept of masculinity.
The concept of masculinity is that men are expected to be strong, brave
and not the least bit vulnerable. Of course men are socialised to not be
complete sissys and to 'act like a man' and be tough in the face of it all.
This... irks me. I myself was expected to act tough and cool, especially in
secondary school where, in the early years at least, I was told not to cry so I
can be accepted. Now, crying is such a rarity in me. I keep my pain within or
regressed to screams when I am physically hurt and in terms of emotional
damage, very few things make me cry. I never cry in movies where I should and
in sad situations, I do cry sometimes when it's really damaging but most of the
time the tears never come. Where are you tears??? Where the smeg are you????
I doubt it's just me because I've never really seen a grown man cry in
real life. At least not to my memory. I expect it’s because we're expected not
to cry and to act brave in the face of turmoil. Women are the only gender who
are meant to cry apparently and men who cry are passed off as cry-babies. I'm
sorry but I can't stand that! I want to be able to cry and not feel ashamed in
doing so! I want to feel scared of things without being labelled a wuss! I'm
not manly, I'm me! So let me be me society!!!
The concept of manliness has led to a lack of knowledge of serious
issues. For example, domestic abuse is the biggest form of oppression towards
women as they are violently attacked and intimidated to the point of emotional
scarring. That is a huge problem but it's not one way. Men get attacked and
abused too. Most recently, YouTuber Matthew Santoro released his story of abuse
on YouTube and it got me thinking, why don't men get recognised as victims too?
Then I cast my mind back to sociology and crime statistics, particularly in
terms of domestic violence. The main reason why men don't get recognised as
victims of domestic is likely because of the fact that they're too ashamed to
admit they are attacked by a woman which is considered to be a damage to their
masculinity. Men, as well as women, should be recognised for those things!
It's not just masculine behaviour, the masculine image can be damaging
to a man's self-esteem. Casting back to my 'Models are Clones' blog post, I noted how
the 'perfect image' can give people unrealistic expectations on what they
should look like. The same applies to men as they are expected to have lots of
muscles and a 'boy-band' complexion. It is often men who fit that description
who are seen as desirable and not all men in general.
I suppose that's why I relate to women more than men. Don't get me
wrong, I know a lot of great men and boys but I prefer the company of women
because they are free to be honest with their emotions whereas men just try to
act 'cool' when really it can be a mask. The men I relate with are more open
with their emotions and are not as 'manly' as stereotypes suggest. I myself
have some feminine traits like in my taste of music (I like Taylor Swift and
Lana Del Rey rather than rap and heavy metal music), my choice in films (I like
manly films like Mad Max: Fury Road but I also enjoy rom-coms like Love
Actually) and my emotions despite the lack of tears (such as fear). Apparently
I also used to play with Barbies as well during my Pre-Doctor Who days.
Really, the people are not entirely masculine or feminine. A nice hybrid
of the two makes them more relatable and trustworthy because they are open with
their feelings. Back to the issue at hand, I wish masculinity would just die
because boys and men shouldn't just be tough, they should be emotional too and
be allowed to like things such as Disney Princesses (another thing I like).
Most importantly, they should be seen in issues such as domestic violence and
they shouldn't hide because of their masculinity. Sometimes men have to let it out...
